Things a wife should NEVER SAY

Posted on 28 Jun 2012 at 8:56am

Some say love is complicated and downright elusive to hold on to. Refrain from uttering one word of the following and it will go a long way to keeping hubby happy.

If you are a husband Read : Things a husband should NEVER SAY.

 (1) Constantly comparing your current boo to your ex boo.

No one wants to hear how good your past lover was. Would you like to hear about his?

(2) The ‘does that make me look fat’ ubiquitous question.

My motto is, never ask a question if you are not prepared for a truthful answer!

(3) “Are you using your Rogaine?”

Just as we obsess about our weight and aging, men are ultra sensitive about their hairline.

(4) “Hold my purse.”

Now this one is sorta self explanatory right? Don’t emasculate the poor man!

(5) “Is it in yet?”

This one is also self-explanatory. His sexual prowess/size is right up there with his hair sensitivity. In fact, scratch that. It tops all other hang-ups!

(6) “Do you think that girl is hot?”

Refer to No.2 for instructions.

(7) “I don’t care what team is playing, we need to talk.”

If you want his undivided attention for this important conversation, then attempting an aggressive move during his sports time is the dumbest move you can make. Still don’t get it? Come on, no one is that obtuse!

(8) “I hate your mother.”

The woman who made it possible for you to meet your man by bringing him into this world must have your respect, admiration and love. OK, all kidding aside, even if you can’t stand mama-in-law, keep it to yourselves or vent when you are in safe territory–like with your girlfriends or your side of the family.

(9) “I don’t really need sex.”

Now if this was my list, this one would be No. 1. Don’t get me wrong, we love sex too, but to men, sex is like air. Literally. We all need oxygen to survive and I have found that men will certainly expire if they do not have it, so telling hubby something this life-saving is irrelevant to you is not a very good move.

(10) “You can’t fix that?”

Don’t chip away at his manly ego; he has enough to deal with out there. So what if he is not handy and we love our men to be an unrealistic combo of carpenter, plumber, electrician, painter etc. Is he ‘handy’ in bed? Financially responsible? A good father and husband? OK, case closed.

(11) “Why don’t you ever buy me stuff like her husband does?”

Refer to No. 1.

(12) “Are you really going to eat that?”

That’s like telling him he is too fat. Wrong approach if you’re trying to get him to lose some of the junk in his trunk. Maybe that wasn’t the right idiom to use? After-all, we love some junk in their trunk. Just depends on which trunk. Wink, wink!