Miley Cyrus VMA

Miley Cyrus VMA performance was a perfectly planned, perfectly executed government plot to divert viewers’ attention away from pressing political issues like the NSA spying scandal and the mounting problems with Syria.Why else would the former Hannah Montana star publicly embarrass herself in front of millions of people? Look, we have already pretty well established that I’m all for expressing your genderism, and I was perfectly fine with Lady Gaga’s g-string shell bikini. But something about Cyrus’ act on MTV last night made me cringe. Then, I watched it again online and cringed some more. And again after that. Holy smokes! What would Rebeka Seitz say?

She danced with a bunch of pedobears, motorboated and slapped another woman’s derriere, dry-humped a foam  hand, grinded against a married man and stomped wide-legged on stage, thrusting her pelvis into the crowd .

Lady Gaga has never been this disturbing, and she’s the performer who once attended the VMAs wearing a meat dress. But when Cyrus overshadows her in terms of shock and crude factor, you know there’s a problem. With Miley. On the blogosphere this morning, author Kim Bongiorno wrote an open letter to Cyrus which pretty much sums up how most of us feel. She writes:

Miley Cyrus VMA

“Lady Gaga — only four years older than you — opened the MTV VMAs with a routine, which resulted in her dancing in the spotlight donning nothing but a flowery g-string, two strategically-placed seashells and a short wig. Yet, the routine did not feel obscene in an uncomfortable way. It felt artistic and engaging…it was exhausting watching you try so hard.”

She also suggested that Cyrus “go down to your basement and watch footage of Mary J. Blige’s career” as an example of how to be good  and desirable without dry humping teddy bears. It’s sound advice, and the young entertainer would be wise to take it, because if she doesn’t, she’ll end up no better than Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears: Washed up has-beens who became little more than punch lines in a string of cruel jokes of their own making.